Oh Manna!

We are not in the desert. Are we? I don’t think so. When I hear things like, “Yuck, I don’t like that.”, “Not chicken again!” or “Not pancakes again!” I WANT TO SCREAM! Then, I humbly remember, I used to say to my Mom, “That’s disgusting!” all the time. My heart aches to know what I put her through sometimes. Although, being the youngest, it was like I was an only child mostly. She didn’t have 7 complainers all at once like I do. But she did have me, and I was picky back then.

We learned early on the strong will of a child, and how one could go to the table and see the same plate which sat in front of them from the night before, and still refuse to eat. Frankly y’all, I don’t have time for that nonsense. They eat, or they go hungry. Sadly enough, this behavior continues with various children night after night. They grumble and complain just like the Israelites. And it wears on my very soul. I love my children. I want to cook for them and teach them to cook for themselves also. I want them to see it is my love and devotion that ensures they have three meals and 2 snacks per day. They are not lacking, even during this tough time. I desperately want my kids to be able to choke down whatever happens to be on their plate and still smile and say thank you. The worst part isn’t that food is currently outrageously expensive, and that our budget is at an all time low, but it is the condition of the heart. Out of the mouth the heart speaks, right? Just as the Israelites wandered in the desert complaining and whining about what they would eat, so do my children. Can you imagine 40 years of manna and quail? Let me repeat that: FORTY YEARS OF MANNA AND QUAIL!!!!! Not 2 nights a week, or once a month, but 3 meals a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year for 40 years! Ugh. Now, some would argue that although they were in a desert, they sure could have had their share of Rattlers; perhaps another winged bird, a cactus or two, but come on! It’s a desert for pity’s sake! Their main course for 40 years was manna and quail!!!!!! May I just add here that even chocolate, steak, beer and Brussels sprouts, or whatever your personal vice may be; it would get old after a week or two at best, let alone 40 years! (Read the whole manna-quail account in Exodus 16.)

Are we in the desert in God’s eyes? Do we whine, grumble and continuously complain when we don’t get what we want? Are we letting our children see our ungrateful hearts regularly? How do we display gratitude and contentment in our daily walks with the Lord in front of our little ones? Let our praise be great before the Lord and let the trumpets sound loudly in our homes!

Psalm 107:8-9 “Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind, for He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.” This entire Psalm is worth the read and applies directly to the wilderness account.

I realized I was complaining in my heart these past 2 or 3 weeks. Probably out loud as well. I complained I didn’t have time to make extra meals, or blog or clean my closet. I complained about slow progress on certain home improvements. I complained about not exercising enough, and on and on. Now, here I sit in my conviction because now I complain about my complaining children! What a good and just God we have! Repentance is a blessing from the Lord. We are so very blessed. We truly have no right to grumble or complain about anything, do we? I have my Lord, my health, family, friends, a home, food and clothes and a husband who is responsible for most of the above. Thank God. Blessings.

Boundaries: How Far is Too Far??

 What are your boundaries in parenting, disciplining, relationships, work, play and all the rest?? What sort of limits should we set for ourselves? What does the bible say about this sort of thing? Well, we have The 10 Commandments, for starters. (Not the 10 ‘suggestions’ as some would like to believe.)

And God spoke all these words:

“I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments. You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name. Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy. Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. You shall not murder. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal. You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” –Ex.20:1-17

Our children know their physical boundaries within our property lines. They know Nana’s is as far as they are allowed to go without an adult. She’s next door and on the same property.

Our family doesn’t celebrate Halloween. (We Christians aren’t really into the whole sacrificing virgins once- a- year deal.) We do however celebrate All Saints Day and allow them to buy the 90 percent off costumes, because all kids love to dress up! This is just one place we draw a line in the sand. If the pagans dress up on October 31st, that’s the one day we WON’T allow our kids to dress up.

Here is what our Creator has so thoughtfully laid out for us because He knows that we, like little children, need boundaries. These commandments are for our protection, unlike the TSA. If indeed we all lived within the boundaries of the 10 Commandments, or God’s law simplified in “Love your neighbor as yourself”, then we would all get along just fine, wouldn’t we? After all, we Reformers believe we have great liberties and freedoms within God’s perfect law, right?

It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don't use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that's how freedom grows. For everything we know about God's Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That's an act of true freedom. If you bite and ravage each other, watch out—in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then? Gal. 5:13-15 (The Message)

I don’t normally quote the Message version of the bible, but I just love the plain lingo here.

I’m constantly telling my kids things like, “Everything in moderation.” Or, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” To me, these are words to live by. Drink-but don’t get drunk. Eat-don’t gorge yourself until you puke. Smoke-once or twice a week-don’t be an addict in other words. Laugh loudly-live loudly-but perhaps not in church. Experience all that God allows you-but without sin. If you are not sure what sin is, then refer to His law. It is a beautiful and freeing thing! Just like telling kids they can have candy, but they can’t have candy for dinner, we are protecting them. From what, you say? Cavities, sugar highs and lows, and obesity. We love our children and want to protect them from harm. Whether it be a sugar addiction which ultimately can lead to all kinds of disease and trouble, to smoking addictions etc. God says to climb that mountain, but you had better use safety gear! (Otherwise you will be road kill) Drink that wine, but not too much! (Or you will be hugging porcelain) Or in my case-Jump and pray that my parachute opens! (Someday) Ultimately, His law is perfect. When we abide in Him we abide in His law. For Jesus said, “If you love me, keep my commands.” John 14:15

And when we mess up? And yes we will, then we have that covered too, for in 1 John 1:9 it says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

In all of the testing of the waters and defining the boundaries, and intelligently yet tenderly, laying these things out for your children, remember that the bible also says, “Do not put the Lord your God to a test.” Duet.6:16, Matt.4:7 and, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Eph.6:4

Be diligent and as consistent as possible. Even when we fail, God is there. When the line in the sand is washed away by the tide, we are called to draw it once again. As Doug Wilson likes to say, “If it is getting cold, turn up the heat.” We parents control the thermostat. It is difficult, but God knows our weaknesses and will always help when we ask. Blessings.

How Disappointing!

Life is full of disappointments. Getting my order wrong at any given restaurant has come to be an expected, normal part of my life. So, when it’s right once and a while, it is a nice surprise. Other disappointments are just that-disappointing! Like when you are at the grocery store and you finish paying your bill only to realize as you put away your wallet that you had five dollars in coupons you forgot to use. Or how about when you finally remember you have coupons, you get them out to use them, and they expired 2 days prior! Then, let’s see, your favorite store has jeans on sale and you get there to find out they are out of your size! What about when you make plans with someone and they fall apart? What about when you choose the “??Mystery??” Dum- Dum Lollipop and it’s Root Beer flavor?!! (Yuck!) Or better yet-you wait in line for hours for front row seats to your favorite event and it gets cancelled due to bad weather and they offer no refunds! Simple things we take for granted such as the milk won’t be sour when we take a drink or there won’t be a worm in our apple and we certainly won’t step on gum in the parking lot. Life happens. Babies puke on us and poop on their pretty church clothes on the way to church. Children say the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate times. Dogs chew up leather couches and $200 shoes. (And sometimes they leave “gifts” on the living room rug!) Disappointments come in a variety of sizes. Dale and I used to lead a Married for Life class in which each week there was to be an Object Lesson. One week the lesson similarly was “deception” or how you think one thing is good and turns out bad etc. Anyway, the object lesson was for us to bring in a “Caramelized Onion”; an onion disguised as a caramel apple! We honestly just didn’t have the heart to do it to these unsuspecting couples. Can you imagine the DISAPPOINTMENT of biting into what you think will be a sweet, yummy, juicy, caramel apple, only to find a stinking onion!!?? This kind of thing is hard to see in our children as well. The better we handle disappointments, the better they will handle them too.These are not things to start taking anti-depressants for. This is Life 101. God has a sense of humor too. He sets before us obstacles in order to strengthen us daily, not to trip us up. We need to learn to change our perspective sometimes.

Philippians 4:8 says this: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

“Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.” Psalm 37:4-7

It’s ok when things go wrong. If your hair is a mess, and your children have on the wrong size, color or two Right shoes, or even if you bite into a caramelized apple-it’s ok. Tomorrow is another day. And this (today or any day) “is the day which the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Blessings.

Discipline Your Man!

Ha! I got your attention. No, I’m not that kind of girl! I’m talking about the 4ft variety. But hang with me, there is a correlation there for husbands too. Raising boys for a girl like me should be an Olympic event.  It’s not a job for the weak in the knees sort. Or the parent from the couch sort. It is a leap over the giant toy dinosaur, scale a tall bunk bed, frog in the backseat sort of job. And that’s only an hours worth on any given Sunday. The following Mother Goose nursery rhyme reminds me of my crew:

 What are little boys made of?
“Snips of snails, and puppy dogs tails
That's what little boys are made of!"
What are little girls made of?
"Sugar and spice and all things nice
That's what little girls are made of!"

No amount of “How to Be a Mom” type books could have prepared me for this life with my 4 boys. (Not to exclude my 3 girls, but Mommy will write about you another time.) When they are very small say about 1-4 years or so, they are easier to handle. Literally. They misbehave, I spank. All is well, for an hour or two. Somewhere around 6 or 7 they stretch out their legs and reach beyond a boundary or two. Still, spanking usually works. Then, the next thing I know, I turn around and my eldest boy is 12 years old! Spanking is no longer an option. He’s a good kid. Really, he is. He just has to be shaped into a good man. Here’s the glitch-I’M A WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!! God knows this.  Except, my handbook (Proverbs), says hear the voice of lady wisdom, and also listen to the instruction of your mother, but doesn’t necessarily give practical application when said boy WON’T LISTEN!!!!! [Insert Father here.] He certainly listens more effectively to his dad. Glitch number 2-Dad works! Praise be to God in heaven!!! However, that means he’s being raised and educated primarily by moi. Poor kid. He’s ALL boy through and through! I love that about him. Unfortunately it can be a vice as well. He goes on one speed at all times. When he finally stops it’s usually because there is no one else in the room. Boys need work more than anyone. They need productive activity. If he’s not doing school work, punching his punching bag, jumping on the trampoline, shooting his BB Gun, or playing with the dog, he must be working. Mowing the lawn, raking leaves, going to work with Dad, picking and selling strawberries, taking out the trash etc. these are all things that are good for him. They are also chores that don’t take very long. (Except the lawn because we have almost 2 acres to mow) Boys mustn’t be left to their own devices. My dear hubby has educated me on this subject all too thoroughly. When my husband was a boy, he shot innocent woodland creatures, blew things up, crow-barred vehicles to pieces, and played in cow poop. These are all NON-PRODUCTIVE  activities.  So, when I look out my window and my son is a good 50ft in the air atop our tallest pine tree, my heart skips a beat as I try not to scream and say for the 40^th time-“I said don’t go that high again!”  Truth is treetops are the least of my worries. It is the condition of the heart that matters most. My hope rests in this verse;

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

The bible has many promises to us children of God, but sadly we live in a fallen sin filled world and though we as parents would love a guarantee of salvation and or perfectly behaved young citizens, as rewards for our diligently teaching and training of those given to us by our Creator, we know he chooses some for good works and others for destruction. Take Romans 9:22-25 for instance…

 What if God, choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath—prepared for destruction? What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory—even us, whom he also called, not only from the Jews but also from the Gentiles? As he says in Hosea:

“I will call them ‘my people’ who are not my people;

and I will call her ‘my loved one’ who is not my loved one,”

God forbid one born of my own womb, is not on His eternal life list! Heaven help me I say. Our hope is you Lord for you alone are good. You desire Godly offspring, and we have baptized, and are training up those you entrusted to us. You alone are good.

My eldest boy will turn 12 on Thursday, September 22^nd, 20011. It is not easy to discipline a man. 12 years old is biblically considered a man.  In the past, (perhaps present), boys/men his age fought wars and ruled kingdoms. When I discipline him, I’m disciplining a man. I do not wish to break his spirit, only to offer him a better way. One which will not only glorify God, but will benefit him once he is not beneath my wings any longer. I admit my discipline isn’t always an example of one who is sane. For instance, the other night we had a slightly insane encounter with his bedroom door. He thinks it is for slamming, kicking, pounding, or locking one in or out of regularly. I however disagreed. So I removed his door. 

He wasn’t pleased to say the least. I said, “If that’s how you are going to treat this door, then you don’t deserve the door.” He disagreed. Previously he had slammed it unknowingly on me and almost chopped off my finger.  Rationally speaking I could’ve used more talk, less action. Did I mention we are an active family? Actions speak louder than words around here. I chose action. The next day, he and I spent time together and laughed hysterically at the whole ordeal. I love that kid!

To conclude my thoughts here, let me repeat my title, Discipline Your Man! Your husband is disciplined by God if you don’t. He is charged with taking care of his family and raising Godly offspring to the best of his ability. Let him step in when he needs to. Ask him how you should handle difficult situations. Bless your husband by not disrespecting his son who will soon be a man. Be attentive to the fact that we are all image bearers, and do not misuse the temple of God. Blessings. 

The Absence of Fondness

Three days and two nights we looked out a window facing the Atlantic. Blue skies and beaches, mini golf and ice cream filled a few hours. Breweries and Wineries donned an afternoon. Filet Mignon, a new dress and the man of my dreams in front of me, what better way to spend our 20th anniversary? (As if God himself planned it, and HE did, we also had the pool and hot tub all to ourselves.) Now, 3 weeks later, I finally have time for a short blog.

We adore our children. We talk about them entirely too much. As the saying goes, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” I grow much fonder of my children after not seeing them for a few days. Unfortunately, the euphoria of this wears off pretty quickly. (Hence, my title) Therefore, once back on the home front, the whining begins…Welcome Home Mom and Dad!


Seriously, I miss them so much, but I hate how the bickering escalates sometimes! I wouldn’t trade a moment, honestly. They teach me more than I teach them. Children are so intricately made. Their innocence, their reasoning, and the way they fully, deeply, wholly love you, is straight from heaven. I don’t allow those moments where the enemy gets a foothold to last. I admit, I don’t run to the room where the argument is every single time, mostly because I’m hoping they will work it out themselves. It is all the other moments where I could dwell eternal. You know, like when one does a kind deed for another, words of praise and forgiveness, bedtime prayers, all the family story times, family plays and sing-alongs, road trips, cuddle time, playing games outside together and the list goes on…truly it does. I love my life! These are the times we must remember when they are arguing or refusing to fold laundry my way or hitting someone or breaking something or shooting someone. (Yes. I said shooting someone) Air Soft pellets people-don’t go dialing 911 or anything. I love my kids. I love my husband. Here is what is written in Corinthians on love:

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.

But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Cor. 13:1-13

I see clearly now what it is to put away childish things. Teaching this principle to my 12 yr old son is not so clear. It is harder for me being a woman and trying to train up a boy-man in the way he should go. It is near an impossible task of which I would fail miserably! There, but for the grace of God, go I. God is gracious in this area of parenting. HE knows how difficult the task and what is required of me, but still I fail and still He forgives. So, yes, young grasshopper, you will do dishes and mow the lawn. And, no, you may not shoot your brother in the back of the head or jump off the roof of the barn. Not on my watch!

All in all, our 20th was a hit and it is a joy to be home and back in full swing of things within our four walls. Thank you Nana!

20 and Counting!

My hands are not the same. When I look down at the finger he placed the ring upon, I hardly recognize it. Time changes things and rings. The ring itself is bigger; we upgraded the diamond a few years back. His hands too, are etched with time, the broadness, the roughness, but not the grip. His grip is calloused with strength but tender is his touch when he takes my hand in his. I know he will always hold my hand, just as he holds my heart. Twenty years ago this week we vowed to be together forever. (I’m holding him to it.)

To glance at a photo of our wedding day, is almost like a dream. The white satin and lace, the eager grins, and the innocent unknowingness of the moment captured on film for a lifetime. Someone else was in that picture, not us. Truly, we are different people on so many levels. Praise God for that!! We (Dale and I) have always had a “someday”. Like, someday we will have a house of our own. Or, someday we will have children. Our “somedays” have changed dramatically over the years, but we always have them. Sometimes we failed miserably, but God never failed us. God promises He makes all things new. He took us, dirty, broken sinners and made us new!

He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Rev. 21:5

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 2Cor.5:17

Time is a strange commodity. We cannot produce it ourselves. We seem to always want to speed it up or slow it down. When we were first planning our lives together it was as if nothing could happen fast enough! For example, our (ahem) wedding night, our first car, first house, first baby etc. Now, with a teenager down to a toddler, we much prefer time to just stand still for a while. It’s been quite a ride! It all really does just fly by. I can’t believe I could maybe, possibly be, do I dare utter it, a grandma in just a few short years!? Okay, that’s a little far-fetched, but she is 15!!!!

This marriage journey we are on is filled with peaks and valleys. I can’t say I’d do it all exactly the same, but given the outcome so far, I’m glad God brought us here together, regardless of past or future mistakes. We are on to our next “someday” honey! So hang on for the ride! Here’s to us, and another 20 years! (At least 20!) Blessings.

Thoughts From My Inner Chef

Did I mention I like to cook? I have been baking chocolate chip cookies since I was 4 or 5 years old, maybe younger! I love a good, fresh, soft, gooey homemade chocolate chip cookie. I have very few memories from my early years that aren’t horrible and this is one of them; standing on a chair in the kitchen wearing my mother’s apron and gazing all starry-eyed at an enormous mint green Tupperware bowl filled with cookie dough. Though this was a frequented occurrence in our home, it generally came around Christmas time. My parents encouraged belief in Santa and so I more than once wrote him a letter filled with my wishes of dolls, puppies, dresses and did I say puppies? (That’s another blog…) And after doing so, I left the ever popular for Mr. Claus; a plate of cookies with a glass of ice cold milk on the side. Indeed this is where it all began. Somewhere in an Oklahoma kitchen, a cook was born.

My dear hubby might say I was a work in progress when we met and that would be an understatement. I definitely needed more lessons in my Mama’s kitchen than I got! However, he was gracious and I grew in my knowledge and expanded my cooking horizons over the years. We went from eating frozen burritos, spaghetti, Hamburger Helper etc., to oven roasted turkey dinners and homemade yeast rolls to an occasional gourmet meal. I now create my own recipes and tweak everyone else’s to suit my tastes. With the exception of the occasional “untouchable” recipe I deem “perfect”. I am in no way saying I am a culinary expert, mind you. I have never taken a cooking class. This is a part of my life and it’s in my job description as wife/mother. I also take great pleasure in creating and have made cooking/baking a hobby. Obviously my dress size shows this to be true. I love to take pictures of my work and will post them here from time to time.

I have found preparing meals and desserts for others to be a blessing, not only to them but also to me. I am comforted in knowing I have given a busy woman with a new baby a night off from cooking and I love knowing my husband is blessed by my efforts to bless others. Not to mention it is a great example to my girls of how they can serve their friends and families and their Lord.

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”       Gal. 5:13-14

As we serve others we serve our Creator. Jesus said, “That which you do unto the least of these brothers of mine, you do also unto me.”    Matt. 25:40

Perhaps some of you don’t feel comfortable serving others in this way. My response is ‘get over it’. We all need to eat. Seriously, all I am saying is look for opportunities to serve, they are out there. Don’t wait for people to ask, they probably won’t. Bless, and be blessed. :)

Boys like to pee outside. (Even 38 year old boys.) Why? I can’t really answer with full assurance, but my strongest feeling on the matter is because they CAN! We can but I don’t recommend it. It’s beyond immodest and quite messy no matter how good your balance is. It’s taken many years, one husband and four sons later to realize this fact of life: Boys like to pee outside. So have your daughters hide their eyes… whether you are hanging out with me by the pool or we are your guests for the evening or (sigh) even at a Church BBQ, one of my 5 males is bound to be found watering your azaleas. Just know- I do not condone this behavior, though I do allow it. :)

Reaping

Summer is bursting with new life! Our garden is growing immensely and so are our children! I can’t pick the beans fast enough and I can’t keep my kids is shoes that fit! Gardening has become such a topic of discussion on a nightly basis and the education and biblical references are endless. I can’t believe the way the Lord relates so much of life and relationships to gardening. The vast varieties of vegetables are likened to the types of people on the earth and within each variety they all need the sun and they all need water. However, they all are attacked and feasted on by different bugs(or sin) and they all require different spacing and weeding (repenting) affects them differently as well. Then there’s the harvesting(fruits of obedience)…some are ready after only a couple weeks and many others take most the summer to come into their full glory. Soon, the feasting at the banqueting table will commence. Perhaps you think I’m reaching here to compare our bounty to the heavenly bounty. I’m not convinced otherwise as of yet. The Lord has so many parables in the Gospels relating to planting and harvesting and reaping what we have sown. As a refresher: The sower went forth to sow, and as he sowed, some fell upon the hard way, and the birds came and devoured them and others fell upon stony places where they had not much earth, and straightway they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth; and when the sun was risen, they were scorched, and because they had no root, they withered away; and others fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them; but others fell upon the good ground and yielded fruit, some a hundred-fold, some sixty-fold, some thirty-fold: he that hath an ear to hear, let him hear (Matthew 13:3-9; Mark 4:3-9; Luke8:5-8).

Or what about this one: I am the true vine and My Father is the husbandman every branch in Me that beareth not fruit He taketh away and every branch that beareth fruit, He will prune it, that it may bear more fruit; abide in Me, and I in you as the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine, so neither can ye, except ye abide in Me I am the vine, ye are the branches; he that abideth in Me, and I in him, the same beareth much fruit; for without Me ye can do nothing; this is My commandment, that ye love one another, even as I have loved you (John 15:1-5, 12)
As we seek His guidance and will, He lights our paths with verses like these as well: Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Gal. 6:7-8
Unfortunately, most of my brood of 7 won’t eat vegetables. *gasp*! I know, I know, and I’m working on them; hence our first garden. I am already seeing a change. The olders are setting a better example just with their willingness to try new veggies, where that wasn’t even optional before. They are reaping what they’ve sown, and so are we. What are you reaping? Blessings.

Quips from Kids

Our kids often role play. They pretend to be a favorite character or even a sibling, or parent. I can't tell you how often I  have answered the call of, "Mooom, Mooom!", only to be told, "Oh. Not you Mom, the Mom in the 'game'." Okay then. My 2 year old is no stranger to this game of role play either. Recently, she's been observed doing a number of voices from her general pretending her brother is her "Daddy" and sister is her "Mommy" or being the voice of her My Little Pony toy, to her brother's dinosaurs, which is quite scary I might add. The thing that makes me laugh is that in her mind, she has separated these roles, so when she in her 2 year old voice begins yelling, "Where's my Big Daddy?", I just crack up! So now, when I hear the phrase "Who's your Daddy?", there is new meaning and new laughs to be had.

Un-Divided!

“But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 19:14 KJV

Such is the current controversy of the church collective today. There is in circulation a documentary called "Divided". Here’s a brief summary:

“There is a crisis. Christian youth are rapidly leaving evangelical churches for the world. This well-recognized disaster has been the topic of significant discussion in recent years for both church leaders and modern new media. DIVIDED follows young Christian filmmaker Philip Leclerc on a revealing journey as he seeks answers to what has led his generation away from the church. Traveling across the country conducting research and interviewing church kids, youth ministry experts, evangelists, statisticians, social commentators, and pastors, Philip discovers the shockingly sinister roots of modern, age-segregated church programs, and the equally shocking evidence that the pattern in the Bible for training future generations is at odds with modern church practices. He also discovers a growing number of churches that are abandoning age-segregated Sunday school and youth ministry to embrace the discipleship model that God prescribes in His Word.”

My husband and I, along with our oldest few children, watched this last week. It was highly thought provoking in reference to why this popular way of handling children happens in many churches today. I wonder when the division first became evident. When did the parents begin saying to God, “Someone else can teach our children about You.” Instead of discussing the sermon together after church on Sundays, we have to ask our little ones, “Johnny, what did Miss “Susie” teach you about God in Sunday school today?” Perish the thought! We must not let this be. We are a nation “Divided”. We are a people of God’s judgment. In our Reformed circles, we are in agreement at least, not to divide the families within our body and I know of other churches locally that may not be Reformed per se, but they don’t believe in a Sunday school forum of such. I love the way my kids take notes for instance. (Albeit they don’t do it every single time.) One Sunday My 6year old who is just learning to spell wrote down words she recognized like “submit”, and “respect”, though her spelling was way off, it was great to know she was paying attention. These are great opportunities for family discussions. We sit together and talk about what each one of us remembers most about the sermon and its practical application. Satan is a master of division. He knows one of the greatest strengths of the family is unity. He tries to divide child from parent, brother from brother and man from wife.

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking whom he may devour.”       1Peter 5:8

He does seek to devour our souls. We tend to be distracted at times and forget this truth. The devil preys on us! Aesop said, “United we stand, divided we fall.” Or similarly, Abraham Lincoln, “A house divided cannot stand.” Which originated from this verse in Matthew: And Jesus knew their thoughts, and said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand. -Matt. 12:25 Oh the blessed truths of God!

I tell my kids to hold hands when crossing the road, or to stick together in a crowd like at a beach or a busy store etc. There is strength in numbers. The early Greeks knew this to be true and used it as a battle technique. They would form a solid unit and move in a single motion against their enemies, and they were very successful! Remember the battle of Thermopylae in Sparta, Greece? (The movie 300 was based on this battle.) We are a solid unit. We are Christ’s people, and we worship as families, not individuals. Division is for math class. Blessings.

Quips heard around our table…

"I want some beer."  ~Titus, age 4

"Put down your battle ax and your gun while you eat, Titus." ~Dad

Day of Art

Today started way too early for me. A son had a night mare around 3am. Alarm at 5:30am. I drove my husband to work around 6am and came home to go on my morning walk at 7am with my Mother in law, and due to rain, we chose to walk inside to a DVD. Kids awoke too soon. Breakfast-cooking-daughter slept in so everyone starved until 9am. Cranky 4 yr old whined and then fell asleep on me while reading a story around 10:00am. That is when it became a Day of Art. I got to practice a rarely used “Art” and so did my children. My unused “Art” of late is letting my kids have fun with messy stuff. I was able to let go (mostly) of worrying about spills and stains etc. I regularly allow Play Doh and water paints, markers and crayons, but not much more. All went well, except when my 2 year old decided to cut her hair with the “safety scissors” she was using at the time. Luckily I turned and saw her mischief before major damage was done! PTL! So each child got to pick a craft. (They All picked painting and then creative cutting.) I was able to paint an unfinished shelf for my girls’ room; while my Mother in law worked on her painting project beside me. As we finished up these projects, it was time for swimming and lawn mowing! Splashing isn’t fun for the splash-ee, only the splash-er among my children and myself included. So, needless to say, an ongoing faux pas in our pool is the “oops I splashed someone”. Well, that doesn’t go far with me. Once or twice and then it’s a “pool-time-out” or an out-of-pool-time? Anyway, you get the idea. The 2 year old is a fish, one that can’t swim. She gets mouths full of water, and it matters not. She simply loves the water just like my first born! Those two are natural mermaids at heart. Eldest boy ran out of gas in the mower before the lawn was finished and came and joined us in the pool. Soon Dad would be headed home and dinner was calling to me. As we gathered ourselves to enter the air conditioned house, my almost 6 year old bounded ahead of me with siblings here and there; I turned to say good bye to my MIL when she screamed. (My little Trinity stepped on a bee!) Big sister was there to save her by taking out the stinger and carrying her to the house as I followed holding on to the 2 year old. I doctored her up with baking soda paste on the wound and a dose of Benadryl. Dinner was cooked, served, and devoured. More swimming was done. Now I sit and type as the kids play with Daddy and I can smell popcorn in the air...mmm…

This day. This is only one day of thousands. This is the day which the Lord has made, and I will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24 This was a good day.

"There needs to be a homemaker exercising some measure of skill, imagination, creativity, desire to fulfill needs and give pleasure to others in the family. How precious a thing is the human family? Is it not worth some sacrifices in time, energy, safety, discomfort, work? Does anything come forth without work?"
— Edith Schaeffer

We certainly are called to give up our own fleshly desires in order to meet the needs of others, in humility putting their needs before our own. Do we remember to do this for those within our own four walls? Or are our “others” always those outside the home? Balance. Find the balance. As Nancy Wilson likes to say, “There’s a ditch on both sides of the road.” Meaning if we spend too much time obsessing over just family, family, family, we neglect the body of Christ, and vice versa. Find the balance, it’s out there. Blessings.

Loving Your Children

40 WAYS TO PRAY FOR YOUR CHILD

One of the great privileges of parenthood is that we can ask God to work in the lives of our children. These 40 prayers can be offered as a 40-day cycle of prayer {patterned after Jesus' own 40-day spiritual retreat in Matthew 4} or simply used during the course of each day.

For the knowledge of God

Dear God, the Psalmist declares, "Be still, and know that I am God" {Psalm 46:10}. In their busyness, may my children have quiet moments in which they think and reflect about God in their lives.

For salvation

Loving God, the Apostle Paul reminds us that the Gospel "is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes" {Romans 1:16}. Help my children learn to trust in you early in their lives and remain faithfully committed to your ways throughout their lives.

For myself as a parent

Gracious God, fill me with sensitivity and insight that I may understand the best ways to guide my children so they may grow in your wisdom and love.

For parenting patience

Loving God, although family life is often hectic and busy, help me to listen with patience to the worries, troubles, and problems my children may have.

For kindness of speech

Gracious God, so many children have been deeply wounded because they have been the brunt of criticism, teasing, and taunting. May my children exhibit kindness in their speech. Let the words of Psalm 19:14 be true for my children: "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight."

To recognize their mistakes

Dear God, may my children recognize when they are wrong and take responsibility where they are at fault. Give them a deep and sincere desire to put things right as quickly as possible.

For love

Gracious God, let my children follow the command of Jesus to "love one another" {John 13:34}. Let them reach out with love to all within their sphere of influence.

For spiritual stability

Oh God, in times of moral uncertainty and temptation, empower my children to exhibit spiritual stability. May the words of Joshua have a firm grip in their hearts: "You are to hold fast to the Lord your God" {Joshua 23:8}.

To help bear burdens

Loving God, let it be that my children are the ones who quickly reach out, helping to lift the burdens of others. Through my example, may my children understand the importance of fulfilling the call of Scripture to "carry each other's burdens" {Gal. 6:2}.

To be instruments of peace

Gracious God, may my children guide their thoughts, words, and actions by the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi: "Make me an instrument of your peace: where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy."

To celebrate humanity

Dear God, this world is filled with beautiful people, all of whom are your children. May my own children be free of discriminatory and judgmental attitudes toward others. Let them appreciate and celebrate the fact that people are red and yellow, black and white, tall and short, fat and thin, rich and poor, young and old.

For spiritual & emotional growth

Loving God, let my children be like Jesus who "grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men" {Luke 2:52}.

To be salt & light

Gracious God, may my children learn how to cooperate rather than compete, to respect rather than revile, and to console rather than condemn. Even in their limited circles of influence, may they be "the salt of the earth" and the "light of the world" {Matt. 5:13-14}.

For protection

Eternal God, as my children go out this day may your loving protection go ahead of them, be behind them, hover over them, and stand beside them. This day protect them from every danger, disease, and trauma.

For faith in times of difficulty

Dear God, whenever my children face trial, trouble, or fear, let them naturally turn to you for guidance and strength. May my children know this powerful promise of scripture: "The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms" {Deut. 33:27}.

To remember the marginalized

Dear God, create in my children hearts of love and compassion for those whom society overlooks. Let them understand the importance of this biblical command: "Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering" {Heb. 13:3}.

For growth in grace

Loving God, day by day and in every way, let my children "grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ" {2 Peter 3:18}.

For contentment

Loving God, let my children cultivate the same spiritual contentment as did the Apostle Paul, who said: "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want" {Phil. 4:11-12}.

To be unselfish

          Gracious God, give my children more love, more self-denial, more willingness to sacrifice for others. Let them understand deeply that it is more blessed to give than to receive.

For wisdom

Loving God, may your spirit be so present in the lives of my children that their thoughts are your thoughts and their ideas are your ideas.

To offer confession & seek forgiveness

Gracious God, may there be in my children no propensity for denial of truth and reality. When they err and do wrong, may they offer you confession and seek your forgiveness. Let them take comfort in your word, which says: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" {1 John 1:9}.

To be "clothed" in virtues

Dear God, may my children constantly and consistently be clothed "with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience" {Col. 3:12}.

For humility in victory & dignity in defeat

Dear God, life is made up of valleys and peaks, wins and losses. There will be times when my children will make important gains and other times when they will feel the sting of losing. May they have humility in their victory and dignity in defeat.

For appreciation of God's creation

Loving God, show my children how to love all animals, birds, creatures, and all green and growing things. Help them to cherish and protect your creation.

For gratitude

Dear God, let gratitude, praise, and thanksgiving continuously flow from the lips of my children. May they "give thanks in all circumstances" {1 Thess. 5:18}.

For the courage of convictions

Gracious God, convictions mean nothing unless there is the courage to stand up for them. May my children "be strong and courageous" {Joshua 1:6}, standing up for those treated unkindly and unjustly.

For emotional & spiritual strength

Eternal God, whenever my children feel the pain of rejection by friends or feel they are the objects of ridicule, infuse them with emotional and spiritual strength. May they always remember that you are the strength of the weak, the refreshment of the weary, and the comforter of the heartbroken.

To be joyful Christian

Loving God, bless my children with the spirit of joy. May they smile naturally, laugh easily, rejoice in your gifts large and small. Let the words of the Psalmist resound in their lives: "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it" {Psalm 118:24}.

To be free from materialism

Gracious God, even in their youth let my children be free from materialism. May they enjoy their benefits, privileges, and material possessions without the constant clamor for more and more and more. And, should they be blessed with wealth in their adult years, may they know the importance of sharing and using their abundance to bless others.

For peace & justice

Eternal God, nurture in my children a love for the many people who live in poverty and misery. Arouse in their hearts a deep and abiding hunger for justice and peace.

To be filled with hope

Loving God, no matter what may befall my children, may they be so filled with hope that it prevents any despair from taking hold. With the Apostle I pray that you, "the God of hope" {Romans 15:13}, will fill them with all joy and peace.

For perseverance

Dear God, keep my children from becoming impatient and quitting prematurely. Develop within them endurance and perseverance so that when faced with major challenges and crises they do not easily give up. Let my children be "joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer" {Romans 12:12}.

For a passionate love of God 

Gracious God, cultivate in my children a passion to love and serve you. May my children have the same kind of passionate love for you as did this Psalm writer: "I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders. I will be glad and rejoice in you" {Psalms 9:2}.

For generosity of spirit

Loving God, instill in my children a desire to give of themselves. May they always be honorable in action, sincere in words, and gentle in their treatment of others.

To be forgiving

Eternal God, fill my children with the spirit of forgiveness. Whenever they are hurt, may they naturally forgive and thereby free themselves from the burden of resentment. May they take seriously this word from the Apostle: "Forgive as the Lord forgave you" {Col. 3:13}.

To have a teachable spirit

Gracious God, infuse in each of my children the awareness that the world is filled with teachers. May they see others as being sent by you into their lives to teach them to learn better patience, greater love, more compassion.

For the wise use of their talents

Loving God, thank you for filling my children with numerous gifts, talents, and abilities. As they mature, let them exercise wisdom in using their gifts to help others.

To be honest

Gracious God, let my children always exhibit honesty of conduct and honesty of speech. May there be nothing deceitful in what they say and do. Instill in them the awareness that life flows more smoothly when it is built around honesty.

To practice hospitality

Eternal God, may my children be open and affirming of all others. May they be the ones who reach out, embracing those who are left out or left behind.

    To be faithful in prayer 

 Gracious and loving God, help my children to live lives punctuated by prayer. With the Apostle may they "pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests" {Eph. 6:18}. May they be persistent and powerful in their praying.

Copyright © 2002 by the author or Christianity Today International/Christian Parenting Today magazine. Written by Victor M. Parachin. Victor M. Parachin is a minister and writer living in Oklahoma.

Heart-Throbs

Four chambers: right and left atria and right and left ventricles. It has been medically proven that arteries and veins pumping blood through the heart are keeping us alive. It is the main organ we cannot live without, except the brain, of course. (The human brain is yet a mystery within itself.) How can it be that this beating, bleeding tissue within my chest can with-hold so much love and pain simultaneously? Sometimes I think I feel so much that my heart will beat right through the walls of my chest. My Mamma used to tell me, “Leigh-Ann, you have always worn your heart on your sleeve. It’s too easy for people to break.” No matter how deeply I have been wounded by someone I seem to always find ways to love them again, eventually.

“The value of feeling depends upon its cause.” Charles Spurgeon

Christian martyrs or those known for fighting and/or dying for their faith such as Polycarp, William Tyndale, John Huss, King Charles I, Joan of Arc, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and one of my favorites, Corrie Ten Boom. These people had strengths I’m certain I don’t have. My heart wouldn’t survive the fires and prisons and tortures of their lives and their deaths.

My heart gets broken on a daily basis sometimes. My children, they are capable of much breaking; whether it be hearts or vases. Needless to say we have lots of glue in our house! God’s glue that is! Dad, being “Mr. Fixit”, always has the answer in his hand-his “super-phone”! Meaning, he has God’s Word on his phone. What troubles me most are the times when we are reading God’s word, and though the answers are right there before our eyes, sometimes our children can’t see it! Truly, sometimes I can’t see it. (Or at least know how I should apply it.) Isn’t that how it is with lessons learned? It is seemingly clearest to those furthest from the problems. I can see yours and you can see mine. Trouble is seeing your own. AKA: Log in the Eye Syndrome. Hence my heart-throbs on…Beats per minute, about 140-160. Breaks per week-superfluous. God’s own heart was broken on Calvary. Surely, He suffered greatly at seeing Jesus relinquish his life on the cross. Knowing it was the will of the Father still didn’t squelch the spirit when he cried out, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?" (Matthew 27:46, Psalm 22:1)


“Love and self-denial for the object loved go hand-in-hand. If I profess to love a certain person, and yet will neither give my silver nor my gold to relieve his wants, nor in any way deny myself comfort or ease for his sake, such love is contemptible; it wears the name, but lacks the reality of love: true love must be measured by the degree to which the person loving will be willing to subject himself to crosses and losses, to suffering and self-denials. After all, the value of a thing in the market is what a man will give for it, and you must estimate the value of a man’s love by that which he is willing to give up for it.” Charles Spurgeon

Life can be so bittersweet at times. Hearts ache and hearts break, that’s life. God knows our hearts and that’s important as we are learning to love Him more fully and love one another the way He expects us to. Watching your baby, who you would swear was just a newborn, wake up on her 15th birthday and she’s taller than you, or the knowing that you have labored through the potty training years for the very last time. These are the “bittersweets” for sure. From weaned babe to tumultuous teen seeking our permission to lay hands on the wheel of a 4-wheeled weapon of mass destruction, otherwise known as our Suburban, has definitely put a new spin on life for this mother of seven! And I press on. For I know that, “He who has begun a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”         Philippians 1:6

Blessings.

Weaned

On a cold and dreary winter night, my husband drove us to the hospital one last time to meet our youngest daughter. We waited through many hours of labor and into the next day before she was ready to meet us. Patience seemed a fitting name. Her skin was so supple and soft and wanting. Lips stretched and searching for years are now formed and decisive and full. What happened to my babies? She, my youngest, held on the longest. A two and a half year stretch of late nights and early mornings. Many a Sunday we arrived late to Church for the wanting of a babe and her milk. During her first days of life outside the womb, she and I were inseparable for hours at a time. She not only nursed for hours on end, but would sleep so snug against me afterwards, that I couldn’t bear t o move her. We took the longest naps together of any of my babies. I loved it. I cherished it. I knew she would be my last and I savored every moment. I loved watching her breathe. 

Patience Promise - Day 1

She so often has looked up at me and smiled and asked to nurse these past 2 weeks, and it truly is heart-wrenching. I did cave a time or two the first week, but it is official now. I am reminded of how our Lord teaches that there is a time for everything in Ecclesiastes 3:
 ¹There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

 ² a time to be born and a time to die,
   a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 ³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
 ⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 ⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
 ⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 ⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 ⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
   a time for war and a time for peace.

 ⁹ What do workers gain from their toil? ¹⁰ I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. ¹¹ He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. ¹² I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. ¹³That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. ¹⁴ I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.

He has truly made ALL THINGS beautiful in their time. Marriage is BEAUTIFUL. Conception is BEAUTIFUL. Pregnancy is BEAUTIFUL. Labor is BEAUTIFUL. Delivery is BEAUTIFUL. Infancy is BEAUTIFUL. Toddlers and Teens are all BEAUTIFUL.  When we can begin to see this truth lived out, it is then we begin to live out truth ourselves. His truth, which is unfailing, unchanging, unforgettable and totally freeing when lived to the glory of God. His truth, meaning God’s word, is absolute. His infallible word gives life to the dead and hope to the lost and forlorn souls wandering this land still today. They seek answers, yet so many people are looking in the wrong places for relief from their grief and their troubled hearts. These poor folk have not yet weaned themselves from the wiles of this world. The weaning process isn’t easy and can’t be done over night. It takes time and special care. We as God’s people, are called to withdraw from the ways of the pagan.  Paul the apostle said:

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. Romans 7:15

I know as a Mother I feel this way all too often. Whether it’s because I yelled at a child or I procrastinated on a couple bible lessons, immediately my spirit writhes within me for the sin I committed; yet I daily repeat so many of them. Thankfully, Romans also offers this comfort:  
 ¹There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
 ²For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.  Rom.8:1-2

Matthew 26:41
“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” 

I have now weaned 7 babies from my breast. What once was my time for nursing has now passed. Even now as I write this it pains me bitterly, yet I know there is a time for everything under the sun. Although we Moms so frequently would love to freeze time or at least slow it down a notch, each new phase of life holds a new adventure. As I press on toward the next phase I cry out to my Heavenly Father for strength to let go and be weaned myself. Blessings.

Adorable!

My babies.
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